Why are relationships so hard?
You are great, but it feels like such a struggle in relationships. Things seem to start so well, but then things change and you are not always sure why. You have trouble expressing your feelings to one another. You just can’t come to an agreement on a big issue. You don’t feel the same level of love and affection compared to how things were in the beginning. You wonder if your partner can change and be more emotionally available. You just want a stronger relationship.
This Just Isn’t Working
You read the books and blogs, talked to your friends, and tried to do what you can to address it with your partner. Either they are defensive and avoidant, or they try their best and also feel lost. You start to feel self-doubt and wonder why you can’t make it better. You wonder if you will no longer be together, even though you truly love them. Even if you move one and try to date someone else, you find yourself dating someone with the same kind of problem…again…and you wonder if you should just deal with it or give up on relationships all together.
Counseling to Improve Your Relationship
Couples will sometimes wait years before seeking therapy. This is a lot of time to let problems fester and to be real, the longer you wait the more difficult it is to resolve the issues. It is important to acknowledge the problems early and seek therapy as soon as possible.
Relationship therapy can be with both partners in couples therapy, but sometimes you notice your partner is not quite ready for couples counseling or you recognize that there are issues you need to address in individual counseling first and foremost.
In individual relationship therapy you can explore past experiences that affect your success in relationships, you can better understand your attachment style and how to respond differently to your triggers, you can practice assertive communication so you can get more vulnerable and share your deeper feelings in a safe and non-judgement environment.
At New River Counseling, I want to help you figure out how to have an amazing relationship. We can explore what changes you can make to improve your relationship so you can deepen your bond with your partner or process if moving on is the right decision.
Work on 'You' for a Better Us?
FAQ about Relationship Therapy for Individuals
Is couples therapy or individual relationship therapy best for me?
Couples Counseling can be great if both partners are fully engaged and desiring to work on the relationship. Individual relationship therapy is god when you want to improve things, but your partner feels hesitant to start couples counseling or when you recognize that you need to work on yourself first. Individual relationship therapy is also best in cases of high conflict, one partner struggling with substance abuse, or when emotional or psychological abuse is present.
Is it possible to be in couples counseling and individual therapy at the same time?
Oftentimes, those in couples therapy will benefit from also having individual therapy so they can go all in and invest in improving their relationship and getting self-clarity. You may want to work on some deeper issues like past trauma, mental health, or your attachment style. By understanding yourself better, you can be more connected and effective in navigating your relationship. Individual therapy is great when you want to improve your life and satisfaction regardless of whether your relationship improves or if you just decide to move on.
Will the therapist tell me if I should just break up with my partner?
Sometimes, you just need individual therapy to help you decide if it is time to end a relationship that just isn’t working for you. The role of the therapist is not to tell you what you should do, rather a good therapist will help you explore your situation and clarify your values and reality so that you can make the right decision for yourself. While I am sure your friends and family have their options, there is a benefit to having a neutral party hear you out and help you weigh your options without bias or judgement.