Communication and support is vital for a meaningful and loving marriage or relationship.
Sometimes we struggle to identify our needs to our partner and don’t know what they truly need in the relationship. Even when you want to show love and be loved, it is difficult when one or more partner struggles to be emotionally available. The couples or marriage therapist helps couples support each other during crisis, open up about their feelings, and reconnect with the fun in their relationship.
You’re likely to benefit from seeing a couples therapist if you:
Does couple’s therapy or Marriage Counseling work?
Historically, couples therapy was found to be only somewhat effective, as it focused primarily on communication skills. These skills are great, however, evidence has found that couples need to address deeper issues that prevent them from having secure connection in the relationship.
According to the American Psychological Association modern day couples therapy can be up to 75% effective when using an Emotionally Focused Therapy model. This EFT model is focused on creating a more secure attachment in couples.
How long will couple’s therapy or marriage counseling take before things are better?
That really depends on each couple’s unique situation. In general, if both partners are willing to change, take responsibility for their actions, and are ready to be open with their feelings, they may expect to see good results faster. It also helps when couples are willing to see each other as team members who have good intentions rather than opponents.
What if my partner doesn’t want couples therapy or marriage counseling?
Oftentimes, when one partner refuses to do couples counseling, it is not always because they don’t want the marriage or relationship to work. Sometimes, the partner is reluctant because they fear the process. Something new and unknown can be scary. They can be hesitant to talk honestly about their true feelings, or fear that they will be judged.
When a partner starts couples therapy because they are being forced (or feel like they are being forced) you may find couples therapy to take longer or to not be as effective. Of course, sometimes this can be turned around during the process of therapy as the partner learns to trust the process, gets a better understanding of what therapy is like, and starts to lower some of their protections.
If your partner adamantly refuses couples therapy it is highly recommended for you to seek out individual therapy so you can at least get help for yourself or get more clear with your decision making regarding the marriage or relationship.
Will the marriage counselor or relationship therapist tell us who is right and wrong?
The role of the therapist or counselor is to help the couple improve their communication, empathy, and reactions to each other so that both can feel more loved and more secure in the relationship. The goal is to increase the level of connection not to decide who is right or wrong. A good therapist will not take sides, and will support and confront (when needed) both partners with the goal of the couple working better together.
When is couples therapy or marriage counseling not appropriate?
Marriage counseling or couples therapy is generally considered to be ineffective and therefore not advised when one or more partner is struggling with a substance abuse problem that is not being addressed. Couples therapy is a great compliment for a partner who is actively getting help for/ or in recovery from their addiction issues. It is also not recommended for couples where there is physical or emotional abuse. Individual therapy or a Domestic Violence specific program is best in those cases.
Will therapy help my partner be more emotionally available?
If a partner struggles to be emotionally available, it is often because they are protecting themselves from fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, or fear that they will be exposed as not being good enough for their partner. This often can come from past trauma, previously bad experiences in relationships, or low self-worth. I find that one of the most important processes and goals of couples therapy is to help both partners feel safe to be more open and honest about their feelings. This requires time and patience, as the individual must learn that vulnerability can be safe and beneficial.
What areas of South Florida do you service?
We service all of South Florida. Our clients typically live in Fort Lauderdale, Pompano Beach, Pembroke Pines, Hollywood, Boca Raton or other surrounding cities.